It’s the terror of knowing what this world is about.
Watching some good friends screaming, “Let me out”.
Pray tomorrow gets me higher, higher, high.
Pressure on people, people on streets.
Middle-age is the trapdoor through which life’s anxieties get unleashed with deadly force targeting our psychic stability; which stability, is arguably, the bedrock upon which the quality of life rests.
Middle-age is the trapdoor through which life’s anxieties get unleashed with deadly force targeting our psychic stability; which stability, is arguably, the bedrock upon which the quality of life rests. Bikozulu, aptly uses the benefit of hindsight in this blogpost — Letter to my 20 year-old self to encourage young adults approaching the start of middle age, to abandon the toxic peer competition and superficial expectations of what our middle age will represent. He gives great advice on a sustainable way to evaluate our life, one that gives due importance to those things that really ought to matter. It is truly the stuff of life.
Relatedly, one of the hacks of effective living (including avoiding external pressure) is to become a master at building perspective. Much of modern and ancient philosophy seeks to address this. Renowned Astro Physicist Neil De Grasse Tyson in this brilliant essay titled Cosmic Perspective — how it can enlighten our view of human life advocates an antidote, whereby we should always opt to use the cosmos-in all its vastness- as our vantage, to appreciate our smallness within it and then using that perspective, “our problems would shrink-or never arise at all”.
As trailblazing scientist and poet Maria Mitchell advised –“Mingle the starlight with your lives and you won’t be fretted by trifles.” I find it hopeful, that it has been proven as unjustified folly to narrow the fullness of life to material comparisons, among other trivialities.
Pattian Rogers Poem on Achieving Perspective is icing on the cake, giving a vivid depiction of the cosmic dominion dismantling our petty concerns.
Finally, as the pressure leaves us, this great piece on Perfectionism by psychoanalyst Josh Cohen outlines in great detail the pitfalls of the struggle for perfection, which is in every sense, unattainable. The article has all the authority of expertise and the compassion of experience. It demands to be read, because in the vanity fuelled world of today, this message is urgent.
A Note from the Shining City on a Hill
I am all of 48 Hours into a premeditated, long desired, doggedly sought-after (maybe temporary) move to the United States to attend school. The saying is that the gods punish you by giving you what you ask for. I momentarily felt the veracity of that prophecy, when, the date for my move fast approaching, I was overcome with a deep sense of ennui.
The fear of novelty is real, especially when you carry the weight of the carcass of sacrifice. There are very few stronger urges than to run back to the comfort of familiarity when the encirclement of doubt approaches.
But I am here now.
The sheen is slightly reduced because reality always subordinates expectations. However, the expanded possibilities, as the overarching rationale for my decision-has come back into full view. American exceptionalism isn’t accidental, and this melting pot has the recipe I can use to accumulate the tools I will need to build a bridge to my long-held aspirations. And Hey, “To make an Omelet you’ve got to break some eggs” So as it is, I am feeling a lot less apprehension about the transition even though I actively grieve the short term cost of the disruption. Optimism is back on top so let’s see how it goes…
